Friday, January 27, 2012

Life as we know it

Life as we know it is always changing. What we know of our lives right now will change tomorrow. Maybe only in such a small way that we don't even notice it. When we really realize that life as we know it isn't life as we know it anymore, is when the big things in life happen. Big things like a tiny new life beginning to grow inside of you. Life as I knew it before now was all about us, trying to plan good dinners, budgeting our grocery bill, couponing, getting used to his new job, trying to keep up relationships with friends and family, trying to keep laundry and dishes done for two.

Life was all about talking about the future and the babies and a bigger house one day. I still look at him sometimes and realize how new we are still to each other, and think "oh yea, this is my husband , weird..." And now we have a new life as we know it. Consisting of talks about what will it be, what will we name it, we need a bigger house, worries, fears, morning sickness, food aversions, constant tiredness, mood swings, and trying to figure out where in the midst of all this do I have time (or energy I should say) for laundry. As I folded laundry for the first time in a week, I realized it won't be long before I am folding hooded towels and onesies. I will have two people in my life needing me to take care of their needs, while I still try to cook dinner and keep their clothes clean. And what a wonderful feeling that is. Overwhelming, I won't lie, but so amazing.

So finally since we discovered this life growing inside two weeks ago, I have time to sit down and think about it all. The little tiny life that is safe and cozy and warm inside of me is real. It is the answer to our prayers, and the product of love that the Lord brought together. It is a precious gift, and I am in charge of doing all I can for it's well-being. I realized it's not about me anymore, but it is about baby. I can't do everything just because I want to or don't want to, because everything I do now affects that little life in such a big way. I realized that excitement isn't the only emotion that comes with discovering a baby is to be. Instead, the excitement is almost drowned out most times by the other flood of feelings that come. And that's ok. Because just like the roller coaster of being a newlywed, I am sure pregnancy will be the same. I will get settled into the role of it. Only to realize that life as I know it will change again and that little life inside will be in my arms bringing with it so many new and wonderful things. And this will be life as I know it.